Friday, October 9, 2015

(SexyTime Rules)  Fake Family Values Adulterous Hypocrites Strike Again? (Tell US It Ain't So, Joe)

So, if it's still a trend (among the Republican leadership at least), can Newtie please get back in line?

Please. (We knew something was more than funny about that McCarthy guy all along. (He always talked funny.))

And one more desultory thought:  If this is who are running our country (and just listen to them if you don't believe that to be true), why would anyone in the world pay us any serious attention at all (except for those thousands of nukes, of course)?

Wonkette is our best source of morning non-hilarity (but try to get through the whole article without having a few sputter laughs).

Curiouser and curiouser and what even the family values fuck is going on in the Republican caucus? No one knows! We’re not even done wondering who Boehner was secretly drunk-boning, and now we have to wildly speculate about his almost-replacement doing secret boning too!

Maybe it isn’t true, and McCarthy dropped out of the race because he was afraid he couldn’t win anyway. Or maybe it isn’t true, but the appearance of impropriety drove him away. Or maybe it is true, and Chuck C. Johnson really does deserve all the Pulitzers please, for doing journalism, and collecting McCarthy’s scalp because McCarthy and Ellmers are full-on Doing It, and they were afraid someone besides Chuck C. Johnson was going to expose them for the fake family values adulterous hypocrites they are.

The only thing that could make this whole sordid tale any more ridiculous is if we could somehow work good ol’ thrice-married perpetual cheater Newt “Moon bases!” Gingrich into the picture somehow:

During an interview with radio host Sean Hannity Thursday, the former speaker told the host that while he isn’t pining to retake the position he vacated in 1999, he would not be opposed to serving as interim speaker if he had the 218 votes necessary. […]

“Why are you laughing at my idea?” Hannity told Gingrich. “This is a serious proposal.”

“I’m not laughing at it. I’m saying to you — I’m trying to be totally honest with you,” Gingrich told the host. “If you were to say to me 218 have called you up and given you their pledge, obviously no citizen could ever turn down that kind of challenge. This is why George Washington came out of retirement — because there are moments you can’t avoid.”

Read the whole schmear here.

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